"You are here for a purpose."
This is something I've always believed. Sometimes I struggle to believe it more than at other times. But it feels significant in this season somehow. The events that have begun to transpire along with the friends that I have gained, this time feels significant and on purpose.
"Maybe God is a man or a woman, and she's set something in motion."
And I suppose this may be true. I'm watching the sun set on one thing and rise on another, and in the most intimate and beautiful way a relationship has transformed into something profound, as I am becoming more fully who I was always meant to be.
As we walk together along a long straight path the sun sets on our left and monarch butterflies dance through the sand cherry bushes on our right. I pass a cornfield and say, "Maybe I can pee there," and you stand and demonstrate peeing in the bushes, pointing to a place for me to go. You watch that the coast is clear, as I squat down in the brush. You have become the friend I always wanted, kind and unassuming, someone who fully supports me for who I am becoming.
We continue our walk talking openly about our life and love as we always have, and I feel happier than I have felt in years. "Say it with each step," you say, "walk in this truth." And I walk and slowly and confidently proclaim something over myself that I had never dreamed of being able to proclaim before, let alone with you. But you love me so freely here.
And I feel so much more alive than I had ever thought possible.
As we walk back, the sun continues to set on our right, now, and I feel both sad and full of hope. This season has already begun to create something akin to joy.
Alana Jamison grew up in Oklahoma and currently resides in Western Kansas. Her writing appears in Flash: The International Short Short Story Magazine and The Pitkin Review. She is a graduate of Goddard College's MFA in creative writing program and a student in Fort Hays State University's Transition to Teaching program. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter @alanajamison.